The Story of Shaolin

We would like to share with you the story of Shaolin, one of our sponsored adolescents. When we met Shaolin, we found intense abuse within his family. Gertrudis, the mother suffered from systematic verbal and physical abuse from Domingo, her husband, especially after drinking alcohol, which came in addition to their economic problems. The home was being torn apart thus affecting the children greatly. Shaolin and his sisters often thought that his dad brought nothing home, only problems, vulgar vocabulary and insults to his mother, him and sisters -almost every day. And when the irritations showed up and led to a conflict, it was very damaging to the mental health of the children because it occurred in their presence. Gertrudis defended herself and also beat her husband whenever she could. Bitterness, resentment, low self-esteem, insecurity grew as the children saw their parents hurting each other physically, verbally, and emotionally. When all they wanted was to just live a peaceful life, his dad showed up home drunk, throwing verbal bricks to his mother and the children.Shaolin, as many other children of his age, had a life full of projects but he felt like blocked out when situations like these arose at home. He desperately wanted his dad and mom change their behavior.

Beni Palomino, the CDP promoter contacted Shaolin and his family through home visits and the different CDP activities. She sensed that Shaolin was suffering deeply and established a close relationship with him. Beni invited Shaolin to the Adolescents' Club to join other youth in order to make friends and receive orientation on different topics, such as Self-esteem, Facing Conflicts, Preventative Health, Environment Care, Communication (between parents and children,) Children and Adolescents Rights, Sexuality, etc. The purpose behind the club activity is to receive orientation as well as a guided recreational space where the participants can get involved in sports competitions, games, contests, etc.

Shaolin has been attending the Club for the past three years on a regular basis and feels well identified with the group. He has made new friends and has learnt what it means to be accepted and valued as a person. He is assuming some responsibilities given by the CDP promoter to help in the Club activities. He mentioned to us that he learnt the value of friendship, loyalty, faithfulness, responsibility and healthy relationships in the home, school, church and community.

Little by little Beni gained the trust and friendship of the whole family. Beni and other staff have simultaneously worked with Shaolin's parents by providing home visits, consoling, Bible studies, orientation talks on family, preventative health and spiritual related issues. An open dialogue was established with the family. Now the family reads the Bible once in a while and takes God into consideration as Someone who is real and concerned about all of their needs. Domingo and Gertrudis have improved their relationship. Their change is noticeable and they are gradually learning to resolve their conflicts rather than being aggressive with each other. They mentioned to us that they would like to be better parents for their children.

We have enjoyed the challenge of working with Shaolin and his family. In the past, Shaolin used to keep his feelings and opinions to himself rather than make an effort to verbalize his feelings and experience. This contributed to the manner in which he learnt to deal with the abuse as well as other issues and problems. Now he expresses his desire to move on life. He values the advice and Biblical principles received from FHI. He values the Word of God because he thinks it is a good source to solve problems in life. He is attending the local church and enjoys the activities organised for the youth. He shares with his parents what he learns in the CDP Club and church.

Even though life can be trying, Shaolin has understood that he and his family must endeavor to forgive the past and build a better future. He said, "Everything has a solution. We can solve our problems with the help of the Word of God. However, we should practice what the Word of God says to us." In other words, he was saying that as we discover truth, we must determine to obey that truth in our life.
Shaolin is attending the fourth grade of secondary school. He loves Math and is doing well in school. He is very thankful to FHI for all the material and spiritual support he has received during the past years, especially for being loved.

Here is a brief testimony given by Shaolin and which is self-explanatory of the physical, spiritual, social and intellectual support he has received from FHI.

"I have been sponsored since I was very small by Miss Anne Billing. I am 15 years old and attend the fourth grade of secondary school. FHI's help has been very important to my community, and me because it has allowed us to move on life. I have learned to be a better son and friend. We must not fight with each other; we must respect our parents, neighbours and friends. We must be polite and greet everyone. We must not insult anyone. In the Club I learnt about my rights and responsibilities. Miss Beni, the promoter, taught us that we must use our rights properly in the spiritual, physical, social and mental areas.

I have learnt to be a better friend. Now I realize the value of friendship. We must help each other, unconditionally. A friend is like a brother. Ii have also learnt about Loyalty and Faithfulness. We must be loyal and faithful in word and facts. We must keep our promises. Being faithful means that when we commit ourselves to go to the Club, we must go. We must not say 'I will go' if we are not going to keep our word.

I continue studying thanks to FHI. They always help me, especially with the school supplies that I need every year. I am very grateful for the medical check-ups, games, sports competitions and other things. I learnt about health as well. I always brush my teeth -three times a day- and wash my hands before eating. At home we cover the food in order to protect it from fleas, insects, cockroaches, etc. We must take care of our bodies and clean our house. Beni, the promoter, has taught us about values and she always emphasises that we must put them into practice. Values are good for the community to move on. She is very kind and always corrects us.

My mum and dad fought a lot in the past. They have improved their relationship. I shared with them what I am taught in the Club and in the church. I always tell my dad that drinking alcohol is not good for him.

I am the oldest son in the family. Now my parents listen to my opinions. They share their problems with me. I help them reason about their problems and I advise them that they must think before they say anything. When my dad comes home drunk -he still drinks sometimes- I talk to him so that he does not hurt us. I have noticed that he is more willing to listen to me than he was before, even if he is drunk.

When I have a problem I pray to Jesus. He always responds! Jesus has come to this world to give us life and abundantly. Everything has a solution. We can solve our problems with the help of the Word of God. However, we should practice what the Word of God says to us."

Shaolin is one of the many lives that been touched by the grace of God. We pray that his family continue to experience the love of God and improve their life on an ongoing basis. We believe that they will be able to continue on their own when FHI phases out.

During the past nine years we have been working alongside the existing group of formal and non-formal leaders in the community, who were ready to join FHI's work. The leaders have received ongoing training on Biblical Worldview, Community Planning and Organization, Team Work, Preventative Health, etc. We have also worked with the parents of sponsored children in the community through ongoing counseling through home visits and training for parents covering a wide range of practical topics and spiritual issues through talks and training workshops.

When FHI started its intervention about nine years ago, we found that the families were living in a very critical situation in the physical, social, mental and spiritual areas. The introduction of the "Vision of the Child" and "Vision of Community" concepts brought a radical change in the perception and vision of the FHI team. Thanks to the continuous striving for efficiency, we were able to adapt this vision to community development work. It was basically applied in the solution of basic needs and the individual members were considered the principal agents of their own development. Thus participatory planning and evaluation meetings along with the community were introduced with success.

The "IELA" church has been recently planted in the community of "23 de Octubre." This new church on their own initiative, decided to extend its ministry among the families and children as they identified their interest and willingness to work with them.

They have demonstrated a clear vision for missionary work and have adopted the community as their mission field. During the last semester we approached the pastor and leaders of this church and presented the Samaritan Strategy to them. They have already received training on Biblical Worldview, Seed Projects, Church Planning, etc. They have enthusiastically accepted to work with us and are coordinating joint activities with FHI.

God is fulfilling His plans in this community --beyond what we could imagine or expect!

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